The Guy has a great opportunity coming up at work to get more sales training in another office – so he will be living in another city – right now, we don’t know which – for a month. Living in a hotel with a corporate card for a month!!! I have to say it will be really strange to be living alone again for that long, and I know it will be lonely. But there is a silver lining… next month can be my haven of frugality. I know I will be able to save a LOT. I love the Guy and all, but he’s just not as savings-conscious as I am, and so I often fall prey to his takeout or restaurant requests, because I want to make sure I’m not smothering him with my pf philosophies.
Which is ideal because March is when my initial $1,000 tuition deposit is due for school. So my goal is to absorb $500 of that hit in my March expenses. It will be a challenge, but by cutting down on food costs and entertainment, I think it may be achievable.
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
On Milestones and Arguing About Money
A couple weeks ago, The Guy and I passed the “Year-and-a-Half Mark” in our relationship. Sorry if some of you are scoffing, but 18 Months is quite monumental in my eyes. And truly, I’ve never been happier or more comfortable with anyone. Because my real-life best friends have been going through some difficult times lately, I really haven’t taken the opportunity to gloat: but, I mean, wow, I’m really happy with this guy. And given how difficult I can be, it’s kind of something that we both still enjoy each other’s company and feel like true partners.
I also really appreciate that when we argue, we really talk it out – and generally do so without belittling or caricaturizing the other person. Which is really one of those important "in the long-term" kinds of things. Anyway, to the second point of my post. We had an argument the other day – I think it would most accurately be labeled as a “spat” – that was really about different philosophies on money, somewhere underneath the silliness.
Scenario: The Guy and I have these free movie passes that expire at the end of the year. So last weekend we decided we would go see a movie at this theater, only to discover upon arrival that we can’t use the passes on Saturday. At which point, we can either retreat or pay $18 to see the movie. I suggest we check out another movie we really wanted to see at another theater. (Read: If I’m going to spend money, it better be something I actually want to see). The Guy overrides and says we should just see it because it's not worth the trouble to hike all 2 blocks to the nearest theater. He wins. I buy the tickets, but I am miffed, and borderline bitter. My gripe is not the $18, but the fact that I feel The Guy doesn’t take into account my frugal tendencies enough (at all?)
Seems trivial enough, but isn’t this where it starts? Am I just being ridiculously small? Or is this a legitimate claim that boils into something bigger? I guess, given that a lot of marital issues are caused by disputes over money, I’m wondering if this is just inevitable or a signpost. Thoughts?
I also really appreciate that when we argue, we really talk it out – and generally do so without belittling or caricaturizing the other person. Which is really one of those important "in the long-term" kinds of things. Anyway, to the second point of my post. We had an argument the other day – I think it would most accurately be labeled as a “spat” – that was really about different philosophies on money, somewhere underneath the silliness.
Scenario: The Guy and I have these free movie passes that expire at the end of the year. So last weekend we decided we would go see a movie at this theater, only to discover upon arrival that we can’t use the passes on Saturday. At which point, we can either retreat or pay $18 to see the movie. I suggest we check out another movie we really wanted to see at another theater. (Read: If I’m going to spend money, it better be something I actually want to see). The Guy overrides and says we should just see it because it's not worth the trouble to hike all 2 blocks to the nearest theater. He wins. I buy the tickets, but I am miffed, and borderline bitter. My gripe is not the $18, but the fact that I feel The Guy doesn’t take into account my frugal tendencies enough (at all?)
Seems trivial enough, but isn’t this where it starts? Am I just being ridiculously small? Or is this a legitimate claim that boils into something bigger? I guess, given that a lot of marital issues are caused by disputes over money, I’m wondering if this is just inevitable or a signpost. Thoughts?
Friday, October 10, 2008
Moving-In Landmines
So the Guy and I are thinking about moving in together.
Something that I have wanted and been ready for – for months and months. I never spend time in my place as it is. I get so frustrated shuttling clothes back and forth. And now I can help him pay his mortgage rather than spending a thousand dollars in rent for a place I sleep in once a month. All sounds good, right? But I know there are landmines I’m not seeing. Those of you who made this choice fairly recently – any warnings or advice before I sell all my stuff? The Guy and I definitely do not share the same sense of frugality, but we are very open with each other, and I think we are comfortable with some push and pull. He likes it when I help him grow and learn about his finances, and I know when to back off and just let him be him.
I think. Help… What are those moving-in landmines you don't see coming?
Something that I have wanted and been ready for – for months and months. I never spend time in my place as it is. I get so frustrated shuttling clothes back and forth. And now I can help him pay his mortgage rather than spending a thousand dollars in rent for a place I sleep in once a month. All sounds good, right? But I know there are landmines I’m not seeing. Those of you who made this choice fairly recently – any warnings or advice before I sell all my stuff? The Guy and I definitely do not share the same sense of frugality, but we are very open with each other, and I think we are comfortable with some push and pull. He likes it when I help him grow and learn about his finances, and I know when to back off and just let him be him.
I think. Help… What are those moving-in landmines you don't see coming?
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
My Personal Financial History
I’ve been meaning to do this for awhile – I was inspired by Living Almost Large’s Weekly round-up for the PFBloggers. And I’ve finally penned my personal financial history – mostly my job outlook and what I’ve learned from my family. I’ve only been on this personal finance journey for a year, and still have a lot to learn!
Looking back on it, I have worked a lot of jobs. In high school I was a hostess, sometimes waitress at a small chain steakhouse, and at one time an administrative assistant for a local business owner. Oh and clothes folder extraordinaire at American Eagle. In college, I was an after-school nanny for two kids of Harvard professors, babysitter at a local church’s morning care program, towel folder and card swiper front desk gal at a gym, and that’s just the non-professional jobs.
I also interned at a small business publisher in Boston as an editorial assistant. The following year, I was the assistant to a Sony Pictures publicist. And now finally I’m settled into my first post-grad job, working in marketing for a consumer-packaged-goods firm.
None of these are what I’d really like to be doing = writing. I haven’t been audacious enough to pursue this aggressively. I’ve felt the need for a financial cushion before I get to venture out into the non-salaried land of writing the stories and truths I love and think are meaningful to share. I do think it’s important – I just wasn’t raised to rely on my parents for too long. My only worry is that I won’t actually take a break from building that cushion once I get too far down the road.
Though we were more of a doing-just-fine than a well-to-do family, and I wouldn’t quite say my brother or I was “spoiled,” my parents were definitely very giving – they were “we want you to have it” people. Clothes or gadgets or sports gear or some other little trinket, they indulged us, and enjoyed doing it. We weren’t wealthy. Though their sacrifices weren’t always visible to me, I know they must have made them to give that way. That’s one of the things that keeps me a bit scared of becoming a parent – I’m not sure when I’m going to be ready to be that selfless. I think that’s one of the things they taught me: the pleasure of money – being able to spend freely on others, giving them things they like. They didn’t have a lot of self-restraint when it came to buying us things we wanted, and I don’t either now when it comes to gifts. I way overspend on gifts, and I guess that’s where it comes from.
My mom was very diligent about the checkbook – my mom handled all of our expenses. She would do them all at once and mail them off right away. I think that’s the only real lesson imparted that I remember: a general take-care-of-it-first conscientiousness about putting finances in order. Our home was also pretty modest, and I remember it was a very exciting day (and very much known in the house) when my parents had paid off the house. But there was not a great deal of nuance beyond that, and I have had to learn a lot on my own. I do feel like a bit of a bootstraps budgeter at times, but recognize that I’ve had it really good in a lot of ways – no major setbacks and lots of lucky breaks.
That’s my very simple personal finance history. What’s yours? In four paragraphs or four sentences…
Looking back on it, I have worked a lot of jobs. In high school I was a hostess, sometimes waitress at a small chain steakhouse, and at one time an administrative assistant for a local business owner. Oh and clothes folder extraordinaire at American Eagle. In college, I was an after-school nanny for two kids of Harvard professors, babysitter at a local church’s morning care program, towel folder and card swiper front desk gal at a gym, and that’s just the non-professional jobs.
I also interned at a small business publisher in Boston as an editorial assistant. The following year, I was the assistant to a Sony Pictures publicist. And now finally I’m settled into my first post-grad job, working in marketing for a consumer-packaged-goods firm.
None of these are what I’d really like to be doing = writing. I haven’t been audacious enough to pursue this aggressively. I’ve felt the need for a financial cushion before I get to venture out into the non-salaried land of writing the stories and truths I love and think are meaningful to share. I do think it’s important – I just wasn’t raised to rely on my parents for too long. My only worry is that I won’t actually take a break from building that cushion once I get too far down the road.
Though we were more of a doing-just-fine than a well-to-do family, and I wouldn’t quite say my brother or I was “spoiled,” my parents were definitely very giving – they were “we want you to have it” people. Clothes or gadgets or sports gear or some other little trinket, they indulged us, and enjoyed doing it. We weren’t wealthy. Though their sacrifices weren’t always visible to me, I know they must have made them to give that way. That’s one of the things that keeps me a bit scared of becoming a parent – I’m not sure when I’m going to be ready to be that selfless. I think that’s one of the things they taught me: the pleasure of money – being able to spend freely on others, giving them things they like. They didn’t have a lot of self-restraint when it came to buying us things we wanted, and I don’t either now when it comes to gifts. I way overspend on gifts, and I guess that’s where it comes from.
My mom was very diligent about the checkbook – my mom handled all of our expenses. She would do them all at once and mail them off right away. I think that’s the only real lesson imparted that I remember: a general take-care-of-it-first conscientiousness about putting finances in order. Our home was also pretty modest, and I remember it was a very exciting day (and very much known in the house) when my parents had paid off the house. But there was not a great deal of nuance beyond that, and I have had to learn a lot on my own. I do feel like a bit of a bootstraps budgeter at times, but recognize that I’ve had it really good in a lot of ways – no major setbacks and lots of lucky breaks.
That’s my very simple personal finance history. What’s yours? In four paragraphs or four sentences…
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Date Night
So The Guy and I have decided to establish a weekday date night, so we make it a point of seeing each other and spending quality time together – not that watching the Daily Show together with our laptops isn’t quality. But hopefully this will be better QT. The guy took me out to a romantic restaurant for the first one. I have this week, and I’m going to take him to a free jazz show tonight at this club he’s been dying to go to. I’ve got to work up an arsenal of creative ideas though so I don’t end up defaulting to expensive dinners or boring movies.
Right now my list is:
4/1: Rush tickets to the Guthrie
4/17: standing in line for ice cream at Ben&Jerrys free cone day
4/30: making dinner at one of those prepare-your-own-meals kitchens
5/13: Game Night!
5/27: outdoor movie or a walk through a trail (hopefully warm enough by now!)
Any good ideas for cute, cheap dates? I blogged about it once before, but I’m running out!
Right now my list is:
4/1: Rush tickets to the Guthrie
4/17: standing in line for ice cream at Ben&Jerrys free cone day
4/30: making dinner at one of those prepare-your-own-meals kitchens
5/13: Game Night!
5/27: outdoor movie or a walk through a trail (hopefully warm enough by now!)
Any good ideas for cute, cheap dates? I blogged about it once before, but I’m running out!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
A Relationship's [Negative] Impact on Savings
So. The Guy and I have very very different feelings about personal finance. I am deeply in love with The Guy – enough to overlook some of his financial habits (like buying tons of food at expensive gourmet grocery stores that expires in his refrigerator because he goes out to eat almost every night; buying bottled water by the case, when we have perfectly great-tasting municipal tap water; becoming overly generous when drunk – “champagne for the entire bar!”; going for routine massages when he usually demands the same task of me anyway; and lastly, buying expensive home accessories for his condo, when he plans to relocate within a year.)
By the way, you are correct to surmise that The Guy does not read this blog. He has many other endearing qualities. He is funny and compassionate, understands the coffee before real conversation rule, eats off my plate without asking, and is genuinely kind to parents, wait staff and taxi drivers. In a word, endearing! But, he does often interfere with my saving goals. He is a charmer, hard to say no to.
I found a cutesy quote in a February 10th Washington Post article (you can google it if you like correct attributions and all that) that said: “In a Money Management International survey, 70% of those surveyed consider financial savvy an important trait when searching for a mate; 58% said they consider financial security more important than a person's looks, though it was women driving that phenomenon.”
I think this is crap, and I certainly don’t prize financial savvy over hotness. But would still love to hear thoughts on how any of you out there have made it work with an SO who has mismatched priorities. Anyone?
By the way, you are correct to surmise that The Guy does not read this blog. He has many other endearing qualities. He is funny and compassionate, understands the coffee before real conversation rule, eats off my plate without asking, and is genuinely kind to parents, wait staff and taxi drivers. In a word, endearing! But, he does often interfere with my saving goals. He is a charmer, hard to say no to.
I found a cutesy quote in a February 10th Washington Post article (you can google it if you like correct attributions and all that) that said: “In a Money Management International survey, 70% of those surveyed consider financial savvy an important trait when searching for a mate; 58% said they consider financial security more important than a person's looks, though it was women driving that phenomenon.”
I think this is crap, and I certainly don’t prize financial savvy over hotness. But would still love to hear thoughts on how any of you out there have made it work with an SO who has mismatched priorities. Anyone?
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Give Yourself a Break.
Happy weekend. Just a lovely Sunday afternoon settling in on my couch, admiring the lovely v-day roses from the Guy, and fully absorbing the Times & the Strib. Nothing pertinent to blog about from those two lovely papers today. But all in all, I have a feeling of contentment when it comes to where I am today. Read Living Almost Large’s post about not feeling overwhelmed, and this really resonates.
Started talking to the Guy a lot more about my finances. I was griping a bit about how much I spend, and he reminded me to put things in perspective – that I spent a fraction of what he (and many of my peers) did, and that I wasn’t doing all that bad. (And while yes, we have entirely different priorities when it comes to money, this was encouraging.)
Sometimes I’m bummed that I still haven’t been able to curb my spending habits to the levels of some of you more frugal pf bloggers out there. But hey, I’ve gotten my credit card balance down below $1000 again, which feels really nice. I’m definitely on target to beat my goal of balance-free by 4/8. At the end of the day, money is a really emotional subject – I think that’s partially why I blog about it – and it helps to give yourself a pat on the back every now and again.
Started talking to the Guy a lot more about my finances. I was griping a bit about how much I spend, and he reminded me to put things in perspective – that I spent a fraction of what he (and many of my peers) did, and that I wasn’t doing all that bad. (And while yes, we have entirely different priorities when it comes to money, this was encouraging.)
Sometimes I’m bummed that I still haven’t been able to curb my spending habits to the levels of some of you more frugal pf bloggers out there. But hey, I’ve gotten my credit card balance down below $1000 again, which feels really nice. I’m definitely on target to beat my goal of balance-free by 4/8. At the end of the day, money is a really emotional subject – I think that’s partially why I blog about it – and it helps to give yourself a pat on the back every now and again.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Romance Under $5
Amazing - at my caucus location last night, only 58 people were there at the last election. This year, around 400 people voted!
Now that the politics are over, it's time for love. This year my Valentine's Day plan with the Guy is simple: I'm going to Whitecastle. For those not in the know, on 2/14 they dress up the place to a white tablecloth style restaurant and you can eat sliders with knife and fork if you like. I've actually never been, so I'm excited for the cute kitsch of it all. Even more excited to not have to spend oodles on a romantic dinner. Romance is not about spending dollars.
More ideas for cheap romance:
Visit an Architectural Salvage store / Long Drive to find a Star Gazing Spot / Bake Cookies Together / People Watching at a Coffee Shop / Play Board Games or Card Games together / Create a “Theme Night” Ex. Paris: Baguette, cheese, French wine
Any other good ideas out there?
Now that the politics are over, it's time for love. This year my Valentine's Day plan with the Guy is simple: I'm going to Whitecastle. For those not in the know, on 2/14 they dress up the place to a white tablecloth style restaurant and you can eat sliders with knife and fork if you like. I've actually never been, so I'm excited for the cute kitsch of it all. Even more excited to not have to spend oodles on a romantic dinner. Romance is not about spending dollars.
More ideas for cheap romance:
Visit an Architectural Salvage store / Long Drive to find a Star Gazing Spot / Bake Cookies Together / People Watching at a Coffee Shop / Play Board Games or Card Games together / Create a “Theme Night” Ex. Paris: Baguette, cheese, French wine
Any other good ideas out there?
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